Yesterday, I had a depressing look into my life, but hey sometimes thats life. You have to get through it and look at things that have happened to you as a learning experience.
Everyone has their doubts in life. Everyone has that little voice in their head trying to hold them back.
Jobs: Everyone loves this subject!! ...not. Everyone dreads the idea of working 40 hours a week every week until you get old. ....Not the funnest idea to think of. The idea of committing your life to doing the same thing every day. Over and over. The job defines you, what kind of work ethic you have. Do you let your job encompass your life or do you let it be an every day thing. Is it a respectable career? How much money will you make? Will you be happy with the job?
For me this is a major doubt in my life being a college student. I have had that little devil in the back of my head saying, "you can't do it" or "your not smart enough". I remember those thoughts running through my head when I switched my major from Criminal Justice to Nursing. Nursing is not the easiest thing in the world...biology, chemistry, anatomy, number, and so much more. I would lie if I said I had no doubt in my mind I could do it. What keeps me going?
The thought of me being a nurse scares the shit out of me, but the idea of helping people sends chills down my spine of excitement. I can't wait for the days to take care of a little sick child, just to see them go home with a smile on my face. The look in a mothers eyes when I hand her the baby she has been waiting 9 months to see, and to know I was apart of that. The peace of a family coming together to take care of the one they love. I can't wait to be the change in peoples lives, to touch the hearts of everyone I meet, to bring a smile to a child's face when they are scared of the outcome.
I long for the days where I can be the change in the world, that's what keeps me going.
Love: Now I know for a fact EVERYONE has doubts about love. Who is it? When will it be? What will it be like? I had my doubts about love when my 3 year relationship ended. I was so sure I had found the man I wanted to be with. I thought I was so happy with him. The idea of my future husband encompassed me. Then it was all ripped away from me. Was I not pretty enough for him? What did I do wrong? Did I not please him enough? What did I do wrong?
Truth is, I didn't. I put so much into the relationship only to get nothing back.
What keeps me going? The idea of sharing my life and passions. Starting a family. Being happy. Those late nights with the man that I love, laughing about memories when we were little, laughing at embarrassing family photos. Quality time. Making sure that every moment counts in life with him. The idea of bringing a child into the world and showing them the beauty in God's world. Showing them life outside of the TV, and video games. Molding them to be a man or to be a woman. I dream of the day that I sit in a church on a Sunday morning with my husband, daughter, and son. My perfect little family, happy, and in love. Yes, to some it seems like a fairytale, but it doesn't hurt to have a dream to strive for? Correct?
Okay! :) I am feeling a lot better about today's post than yesterday's. Makes me look foward to the future. Love and life, life and love.
Be the change you want to see in the world.
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